The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Aren't Real And That Means They Don't Live In Our Toilet

I promise, I have not made anything worth bragging about in the kitchen lately. Like the layer of cooked on water and oil on my ceramic stove top, I am blocked and try as I might, no amount of fussing elbow grease will get my brain unclouded. Here briefly is a recap of some of the kitchen tragedies I have passed off as "meals" for my new husband:

Cornmeal encrusted tofu- Turns out dry cornmeal stays that way even after being sprinkled on tofu and baked for 15 mins.

Lentils on Salad- It satisfies the basic human nutritional needs.

Fried Potatoes- "Yep, that's it sweetums."

Taco Bell- I told you it was bad.

I believe I am finally coming out from this culinary rut and to prove it I put together a fairly decent stir fry tonight and served it along side, you guessed it, fried potatoes. The reason for this dry spell? Who can claim they understand the underpinnings of the creative genius that dwells within anyone of us. But if you must know, I blame ER. Yes, NBC's very own ER is in its 1000th and apparently last season and for some reason this has compelled me to watch each week. I do not understand the characters and every time a "familiar face" from seasons past shows up I am not surprised or delighted as the previews imply that I will be. But I watch anyway and like most children left to watch too much television without an adult there to describe what is real and what is fantasy I believe everything that I see. So you will not be surprised by my next statement: I want to be a nurse. Unlike a child though, this goal is surprisingly close to my grasp and in one week I will begin full time schooling again to achieve it. The root of my constipated creative flow- Anxiety. Wish me luck, my beloved readers! I believe I will conquer this goal and once I'm settled down again, I believe the recipes will flow like some slippery bodily fluid that I will no doubt have to deal with once I am in the real ER.

In the mean time make this slippery and easy dish!

The Future Sure Looks Bright Orange Stir Fry
Juice of 2 oranges and the zest of one
1 tbsp Vegetarian Oyster Sauce
1 tsp. Chili Sauce
1 tbsp Rice Wine Vinegar
1 tsp. Agave Nectar (sugar will do nicely)
2 clove garlic minced
2 tsp. corn starch
Mix all of this together and set aside

Freeze and defrost one block of Extra firm tofu and cut into triangles
Thinly slice 2 large carrots
Cut 3 green onions into 3/4 inch segments

Brown the tofu in oil in a non-stick pan. Add the carrots and onions -cook 1 minute. Pour the liquid sauce mixture into the pan. Stir everything up so that all is good and coated and cook 2 minutes until the sauce has turned thick. Some people might serve this along side rice-radicals! It works just fine next to some comforting fried potatoes.