From the Archives

Because it has been so long since I posted I decided this should be a double header. I actually started this entry over a year ago but never posted it as I was afraid it was too "preachy". After reviewing it I just think it is funny. Let me know what you think...

Unless I am having a meltdown because of jet lag or the inevitable destruction of man brought on by Mother Nature, I have not swayed from the subject matter at hand- i.e. the recipes. So you will excuse me, I hope, that I wish to gush about what I found at a garage sale today. Fear not, it all starts out with the insane wastefulness of the milk industry.

This morning when I arrived at my job I found that the backroom fridge was open and all the milk had entered what is known in the restaurant industry as "The Danger Zone". As much as this title conjures up images of curdled milk and various shades of green let me assure you that it is only alluding to the temperature range in which bacteria multiply rapidly. Having said this let me assure you that I in no way feel that "The Danger Zone" is something to ignore. It is very real! And here I was half asleep at 4'0clock in the morning dealing with 30 gallons of milk with varying degrees of fat content that had been cast into the zone. There was nothing I could do. The zone is not a sort of milk purgatory from which enough prayer and refrigeration can save a once greater than 41 degrees F dairy product from eternal damnation, or in this case simply being dumped down the sink. Thirty gallons milk is a lot to dump down a sink. Thirty gallons of milk that were meant to feed a baby cow are now in a sewage treatment facility. I was now faced with replacing thirty gallons of wasted wastefulness so I drove to a grocery store. In retelling the above part of my story I have just fully grasped how sad it is and can now assure you that what I found at the garage sale I passed on the way back to work does not in any way make up for this tragedy. Cow's milk is meant for baby cows and was not predestined to be put into baked goods or, no matter how billowy or perfect the foam, the world's most perfect cappuccino. This having been said, I found the most awesome cooking tools at said garage sale!!!

For 2 dollars, count 'em, 2 dollars I got three beautiful stainless steel Oxo-good grips kitchen utensils. I found a perfect and elegant potato masher. Neighboring this beauty was the sharpest and fattest potato peeler. And oh let me tell you about the micro plane I found! The girl selling the items was my age. In an effort not to look too excited I grabbed my new friends and coolly asked, "How much for these things?" Failure, her face said it all. It was silently screaming, "You know very well those aren't things! They are fabulous brand name kitchen tools worthy of hanging on your walls!" "Even so," my eyebrows silently countered, "they are going to be mine!" Sensing her second guessing herself I pulled 2 dollars from my pocket and simply said, "Here." She looked insulted. I don't blame her, but she took my money and I ran back to work before she could change her mind and my milk could fall into the danger zone.

"To Arms"

Lately I have been thinking about renaming my blog. At first I was considering this for superficial reasons. The thing is I did think up what I consider to be a pretty hip title that combines my love of science with my apathy for the word vegan- a term I find to be both vague and pretentious. That is a topic for another blog though. The title I came up with was: "Floraphage". I was very eager to share my new word that would surely transform our gentle movement with the rest of the world. I had visions of five star restaurants with the word gracefully italicized over the no meat or dairy portions. Teenage girls would be instructing their mothers on how to cook for their new boyfriends as they drawled out the following phrase all over America, "No, mom! He's a Floraphage!" Of course, I was rocketed back to reality when I tried my new word out at work trying to nonchalantly use it in conversation. I received more than one strange look but no one was brave enough or, more likely, interested enough to find out if this was joke or just some vague pretentious term I was tossing around. Oh well, dodged that bullet!
The new idea I was tossing around today was the title: "The Frugal Vegan". Of course this is joke. I am well aware of the not soon forgotten show about the gourmet with a similar leading adjective and I'm not referring to the man who gallops. The reason I've even made you read this last nonsensical passage about balding PBS chefs who cook in poorly lit studio kitchens is that I am totally and completely freaking out about the cost of food! Never being the kind of citizen who sits back and waits for someone else to take action I am calling us vegans, or floraphages if you like, to arms. And here is what we're gonna do. We're gonna make some frozen burritos! If wheat and soybeans keep going up in price we will have money hiding in our freezers disguised as delicious gifts from south of the border.

Paul "Floraphage" Revere's Minute Man Frozen Burritos:

12 large flour tortillas
2 tbsp olive oil
6 ounce can tomato paste
8 ounce can tomato sauce
2 cups cooked in vegetable both brown rice
16 ounce firm tofu finely cubed
1 large russet potato finely cubed and fully cooked (I just stuck my in the microwave)
16 ounce can black beans rinsed and drained
16 ounce can refried beans
1 cup frozen corn kernels
2 tbsp Bragg's liquid amino acids
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cayenne
4 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro

Place the olive oil in a very large skillet and heat to medium. Add the tomato paste and whisk until the paste is slightly caramelized. Add the potato and both kinds of beans and stir. Add the tomato sauce, Bragg's and spices. Let simmer one minute. Add the frozen corn, rice, tofu, and fresh cilantro. If you have run out of room you can transfer your mixture to a large bowl to stir everything together. Spoon your mixture onto the tortillas and fold them up in a way so the filling doesn't leak out. Once you have finished filling all the burritos you can place them into freezer bags and freeze. Who knows, in three months they could be worth a fortune.

"You Sexy Thang"

I would like to begin by thanking Alanna my dear sister-in-law for mentioning me on her blog: Vegan Dietitian It is humbling to see my blog out there in the spot light with so many prolific and exciting titles. Alanna is an actual certified expert about nutrition so you all should listen to her. She knows what she's talking about.
I'm not trying to imply that you shouldn't be holding a torch for me though! I, who have saved you from your expensive and bloody eating habits. So on with it then! I have a breakfast "omelet" that will bring your roommates, spouses, and sometimes even a cat or two sniffing into the kitchen. The best part is that once you lure them in you can wow them with some culinary acrobatics.

Spinach Potato Omelet-Pancake

4 baked or boiled russet potatoes peeled and coarsely mashed
Salt and Pepper to taste
1/2 tsp. Cayenne Pepper
1/2 tsp. Garlic Salt
1/2 large white onion diced
1 cup frozen spinach
4 tbsp. Olive oil
a pinch of nutmeg
1 tbsp. ground flax seed meal mixed up with 2 tbsp. of water


You will need a large non-stick skillet, a large stock pot lid with a handle on the top, and a large serving plate.

Mix together all spices except nutmeg and 1 tbsp. olive oil and mix into the mashed potato. Set this aside. Saute the onion until it is soft and translucent. Add the spinach and cook down until thawed and wilted. Add the pinch of nutmeg. Transfer this onion-spinach mixture into the potato mash. Add the flax seed meal and mix well. Add 2 tbsp. olive oil to the skillet and preheat it to medium heat. Put all of the potato mix into the skillet. Mash the potatoes down into the skillet until it looks like a big pancake. Let this brown on one side. Spread the remaining oil onto the top of the pancake. After the bottom has browned gently, lift up the sides to make sure the pancake is not sticking. Now the exciting part! I must warn you that the next step is a little dangerous but when expertly executed will leave you with an inflated sense of self worth and sex appeal. Place the stock pot lid onto the pancake. If you have done everything according to plan, the lid should reach the edge of your potato cake. Now grab the skillet with a strong arm meanwhile still holding the lid up against the cake. Flip the skillet over! Now the potato pancake is on the lid. "But Nicole," you may be asking, "The brown side is up. How will I actually flip the pancake back into the skillet?" Well Gawd save you if at this very moment you have just realized that you forgot to put out the large plate I mentioned above. If so, you will now be awkwardly fumbling through your cupboards looking for the plate with a large potato concoction glued to a stock pot lid likely in your favored hand thus making the search even more difficult and frustrating. Don't do that! As the packaging on a frozen Tofurkey once condescended to me on Thanksgiving morning, "Plan ahead." Now take the plate and place it on the other side of the potato cake and flip your lid. Now the raw side is up. Place the skillet on top of the plate and flip yet again! Now the potato cake is brown side up back in your pan. If you managed to do this without spilling or burning yourself, demand recognition from those around you even if it is only your two cats. Brown the newly flipped side that you fought so hard for and transfer your pancake to the serving plate. Cut into wedges and serve with ketchup. You are amazing!